Man, The Pirates of Dark Water on Genesis was one of those games that looked way cooler than it had any right to back in '94. You play as Ren, this scrappy pirate dude trying to stop Bloth—basically the worst guy ever—from spreading this creepy black goop called Dark Water everywhere. The first level throws you right into it: swinging your sword at crab monsters on a rickety dock while the music goes full pirate-mode.

It’s got that classic side-scrolling beat-em-up feel, but with these weird little platforming bits where you’re jumping between ships or climbing rigging. The sprites are chunky and colorful, and Bloth’s ship looks like someone glued a castle to a boat (in a good way). Some of the hit detection is janky—you’ll swear your sword totally hit that guy—but there’s something weirdly satisfying about the clunky combat once you get the rhythm down.

Fun fact: If you die too much, the game just… lets you keep going? Like a weird proto-easy mode. Not that I needed it or anything. Definitely a product of its time, but if you’re into retro pirate vibes, it’s worth digging up.