So, The Karate Kid on NES—yeah, the one by LJN, which should tell you something right there. It's sort of based on the second movie, but mostly in the way a bad photocopy is based on the original. You start off punching waves at the beach (because of course), then move through these weirdly empty streets fighting random thugs who pop up like they’ve got nothing better to do.

The controls are stiff, and the hit detection feels like it was programmed by someone who’d only heard about karate secondhand. There’s this one section where you balance on a boat mast—sounds cool, but it’s mostly just frustrating. And don’t get me started on the final fight. Let’s just say you’ll be mashing buttons and praying.

It’s one of those games you play more out of nostalgia or morbid curiosity than actual fun. Still, if you grew up with it, there’s a weird charm in how janky it all is.