Ever wanted to run a virtual horse racing stable on your Game Boy? Winner's Horse (Japan) is this weird little gem where you buy, train, and race pixelated horses—kind of like a stripped-down version of those old-school Derby Stallion games. The menus are all in Japanese, but you can kinda brute-force your way through with trial and error (or just pick the options with the most kanji—that usually works for me).

First thing you’ll do is pick a scrappy-looking horse from a lineup that somehow all look vaguely concerned. Then it’s off to the training grind—balance their speed and stamina, hope they don’t get injured, and pray they don’t come in last while the crowd’s tiny 8-bit cheers play on loop. It’s janky, but there’s something weirdly satisfying about watching your horse finally claw its way to third place after a dozen tries.

Definitely one of those "so bad it’s charming" retro sports sims. Just don’t expect modern QoL features—this thing runs on pure 90s chaos.