Oh man, Barbie on the NES—where do I even start? This is one of those games that looks cute at first glance (pink everywhere, obviously) but plays like someone dipped a platformer in concrete. The controls are so clunky that jumping over even basic gaps feels like a gamble, and the hit detection is... questionable at best.

You’ll spend most of your time guiding Barbie through painfully slow levels, collecting random fashion items (because why not?), and trying not to get stuck on scenery. The music’s actually kind of catchy, but that’s about the only nice thing I can say. If you’re looking for a so-bad-it’s-good NES experience, this might scratch that itch—just don’t expect anything close to Mario.