Okay, so Toxic Crusaders on Genesis is basically what happens if someone took a Saturday morning cartoon, pumped it full of radioactive sludge, and turned it into a side-scrolling beat 'em up. You play as Toxie—this weird little mutant hero with a mop—and you're just smashing through levels full of gross-out enemies like sentient garbage piles and mutant rats. The first time I played, I got stuck on this sewer level because I kept underestimating how far those rat guys could lunge.

It’s got that classic '90s vibe where everything’s either neon green or dripping with some kind of toxic goo. The controls are simple (mash attack, jump, occasionally throw your mop), but some of those boss fights? Brutal. There’s this one guy who turns into a tornado of trash, and yeah, it took me a few tries. Not gonna lie, the humor’s cheesy as hell—like, "toxic waste puns" level cheesy—but that’s part of the charm. If you’re into weird retro games that don’t take themselves seriously, this one’s a riot.

Just don’t expect deep lore. It’s mostly about whacking things with a mop while the soundtrack blares crunchy Genesis synth-rock.