Ever dug through old Genesis ROMs and stumbled on something obscure? Sanguozhi V is one of those weird, text-heavy strategy games from China that never made it West—think Romance of the Three Kingdoms, but with even more menus and officer management. You’re basically playing spreadsheet simulator with a side of pixelated warlords.

First few minutes? Expect to drown in Chinese text (unless you’ve got a translation patch) while shuffling generals between cities, balancing food supplies, and hoping your cavalry doesn’t starve mid-battle. The diplomacy system’s oddly deep for a bootleg-looking cart, though—alliances actually matter, and betraying Liu Bei feels weirdly personal.

Not gonna lie, it’s niche as hell, but if you’ve ever lost a weekend to Koei’s historical sims, this might scratch that same itch. Just bring patience and maybe a notepad.